Aloha has a
stellar cast. Bradley Cooper, Emma
Stone, Rachael McAdams, Bill Murray, John Krasinski Danny McBride, and Alec
Baldwin all signed on to do this romantic dramedy, and one would think that
with that sort of star power that the film could have at least succeeded on
some level. But that’s forgetting one thing:
this film was written and directed by Cameron Crowe, a director with a lot of
passion, but very little by way of talent.
He has only made two good films (Jerry
McGuire and Almost Famous) at the
start of his career that he has coasted on ever since, and has since been
responsible for such travesties as Elizabethtown
and Vanilla Sky. Yet somehow, studios still inexplicably give
him money to make films, with his latest dull wit forming the basis for Aloha.
Brian Gilcrest (Cooper) is a military contractor responsible
for overseeing the successful launch of a satellite into Earth’s orbit. In order to fulfill this mission, we travels
to Hawaii, where he meets his old lover (McAdams), who has settled down and is
married with children. While rekindling
his friendship with her, Brian meets Captain Allison Ng (Stone, supposedly
portraying a part-Hawaiian, part-Chinese woman in the most racially tone-deaf casting
this side of United Passions), who has been assigned to keep an eye on him while he preps the
satellite for launch. After a rocky
start, the two begin to develop feelings for one another.
I say a rocky start, but the two seemingly transition from
ideologically rivalrous banter to face-sucking giddiness at the drop of a hat,
perhaps acting as one of the worst romantic arcs put to film in recent
years. It doesn’t help that Stone is
portraying the prototypical Manic Pixie Dream GirlTM, the overused
(notably by Crowe on multiple occasions) cinematic device wherein a carefree
spirited young woman pulls an uptight man out of his shell into the relaxed
groove that is love. That’s not a
character; that’s a wet dream. And
Stone, try as she might, doesn’t bring anything new to the role. Which is sad, considering that Cooper and
Stone are both fantastic actors.
But that can largely be blamed on Crowe's plodding writing and direction, which feels equal parts lazy, incompetent, and
uninspired. For what is supposed to be a
dramedy, there are actually very few jokes, and the ones that are attempted are
so disparate in comic tone and completely unestablished that they never land as
funny. It’s easy to see how a more
competent director could have made those scenes or that dialogue smirk-worthy,
but Crowe seems to have forgotten how, or at least doesn’t care enough to have
his actors convey anything other than goofy smiles.
I understand how a film like Aloha is supposed to be appealing.
It’s about beautiful people in a beautiful place having a good time and
ultimately falling in love with each other.
There are literally hundreds of movies that fit this formula, and some
of them work. Aloha doesn’t because it doesn’t have any aspirations beyond being
a vacation for its cast and crew. It’s a
lazy product that thankfully didn’t make its money back. Hopefully this will keep producers from
giving their money to Cameron Crowe again.
But it likely won’t, and that’s the saddest thing of all.
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